Sex in marriage is a different thing entirely and only those that are in marriage will know this.
When you are married, you must be intentional in making your sex life exciting with the fire still burning.
Sadly, some persons have reached a level that they feel their marriage is headed for the rocks.
Their reason is somehow tied to the fact that the amount of sex they expected had become a dream.
You waited all through your courtship, with all sexual emotions bottled up and waiting for marriage time. But everything is different now.
Lack Of Sexual Satisfaction
We have read about so many divorces hinged on lack of sexual satisfaction.
Before marriage, everything goes fine, the spark that rises when you are together is amazing.
The fire in two of you could burn a cloth. You had this mindset that after marriage sex would be a great experience and something pleasurable.
However, now you are in it, you see that there is so much difference. There are different reasons sex in marriage drops as the years go by.
First, in economics we were taught of a law of diminishing utility.
Simply put, that law says that as you consume a particular thing (with taste constant), a time will come when the desire for that thing begins to drop. That is one of the reasons people get satisfied.
It is a natural law.
Unfortunately, the same thing happens in marriages and that is the first thing that affects sex in marriage.
One looks forward to it with the whole of his or her life, especially persons who had a ‘no sex‘ relationship.
But after having sex over and over again, the desire begins to wane.
Interestingly, there are things that you can do to rekindle the fire.
Did you know that when you are infatuated about someone a hormone, oxytocin (a bonding hormone), is often released.
This hormone makes you euphoric and turned on by physical touch.
However, stress depresses this hormone.
On the flip side, a 2008 study says increasing warm touch among couples has a beneficial influence on multiple stress-sensitive systems.
Therefore, doing the under-listed rekindles the chemistry between couples. It makes sex in marriage come with fresh fire.
1. Create The Mood For Sex
Before you got married, there were songs you loved. These songs change your mood. They make you think of her and want her.
What happened to these songs? You allowed the things of life to push you to another direction.
Find these songs and play them at home to bring back memories.
While eating your favourite meal, play these songs and listen to it with your spouse.
This will help rekindle the past memories and make you desire each other more.
Do this over and over again and you will find that the mood will gradually return.
2. Initiate Sex Differently
‘Variety is the spice of life,’ they say, and one of the things that fuel diminishing utility is not changing the taste.
Imagine eating rice for some time and you are getting close to that time you will hands off. Then, someone brings very nice looking bananas for the rice.
If you are the one that loves banana and rice, you will take more spoons of rice with the banana just to get that great taste.
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Initiating sex differently as you grow in marriage helps ensure that the fire is on or rekindled.
What happens to touching your husband’s penis when you are walking by? When you were courting you used to grab it. Why did you stop?
Most times, men wait for the woman to make the move.
If that is the case in your home, show him your body parts that will turn him on.
Talk about sex with him. Tell him how you crave to take him to cloud-nine.
3. Spend More Time Together
Before you got married, you often spent time together, but all that changed. Now, you hardly spend time together outside your home.
Couple who have children are more in this category.
However, making out time to go out and spend time together like you used to before marriage will help rekindle the fire.
Find your favourite spot. Go for pizza if you love it. Go to a bar and have a fish barbecue time.
Such environments help ease stress and trigger the hormone mentioned earlier.
This kind of outing opens opportunities for intimate discussions.
Having a conversation helps create an atmosphere that favours sex in marriage.
The more you keep to yourselves, the more you create room for distance in your heart.
4. Go For A Holiday
Plan for it and go for it. Such holidays help to ease stress and rekindle intimacy.
During a holiday, your mind is off work. This helps keep you focused on your partner to give your best at the time.
Sexual intercourse is great when adventure comes into it. Be adventurous during this holiday period and have the best of sexual intimacy.
The first time you will make love during such holidays, everything will seem new and exceptional.
5. Eat Together
Sadly, disagreements and other issues could make you begin to eat separately. This is one practice that further separates you and your spouse.
However, eating together has this bonding power and it takes its course naturally.
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While you eat, pick a piece of meat and give to him or her.
Observe your partner’s mood and Initiate a conversation that would trigger memories and prepare your minds for a night in each other’s arms
6. Plan For Sex
Yes! This is one thing that many people do not consider.
The same way you plan your daily routine, find a space for sex and stay committed to ensuring that that moment was spent for that reason.
Imagine what it means to just let sex happen on its own. That way there is no intentionality and as a result it may not even happen.
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However, if you consciously plan for sex, you will often remember that there is a moment to look forward to and then you will prepare for it.
7. Use Your Hands
You used to touch your lady at different parts of her body. Bring back those moments.
Ladies love touches and touching the right spots will trigger oxytocin and make her be in the mood.
Small touches, several times in the day sends signals to her organs and in return, they get ready for action.
You have been with your spouse long enough to know the most sensitive part to touch to ignite the fire you want to see.
Be at your best and have your mind focused on your spouse and you will find reasons to love and want him or her again.
If there is anything about the person that you suddenly dislike, do not hesitate to let the person know.
Kindly share this article with your friends and loved ones to enable them know how to keep their sexual relationship active in marriage.